Impermanence, et cetera.
I’ve been thinking about the impermanence of things. Everything comes to an end. Friends go. Love (?) vanishes. Pets die, or run away. Gadgets just give up. Passion burns out – or burns you out. Some memories tend to stay longer than others; but they are impermanent as well. Thoughts, opinions evolve (I think that’s the sign of a normal brain). Probably the one thing that stays longer than most others is family – however you may choose to define that. In the face of this fact, how should one remain interested in life? If everything goes anyway, what’s the point of living? They say smoking will kill you; but so will life. To quote from one of Iron Maiden’s songs, ‘As soon as you are born, you’re dying’. What is the one thing that keeps me going? What is the reason I’m still alive? From today’s perspective, I’ve got pretty much nothing to look forward to – I’ve got to go through the daily grind, the job, the weekend, and the job again. Nothing on the horizon, nothing that I’m working towards. Sometimes the only thing I look forward to, big picture wise is to see how the game plays out. I’d love to see what happens in the end, what life takes me through, and where I end up. I still have no idea of what I really want out of life – don’t mistake this for some kind of selfish idea – I mean what I want myself to do – what I want to pursue, what I want to achieve. I’m not even in a position to chart out what I want the big picture to look like – even describe in very vague terms what it is that I am aiming at. But then again, people say, that if you want to make God laugh, tell him or her your plans. On a more serious note, God and all other things apart, all I see now is a tunnel that I’m heading into. I can’t call this a blank slate, because that is more desirable than what I have now. A blank slate implies not having made mistakes; a fresh start. But, on the other hand, a blank state also implies not having had the opportunity to learn from experience.
What one wants to pursue in life must largely correlate with one’s talent, interest, and what brings the most joy. Also, there is the question of earning a living…
Things are so bad, that right now I have no idea where I want this post to go – I don’t remember what I wanted to say when I started writing this. Such is life. *Sigh*
